Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Stuck in my ways . . .

OK, so I’m going to ‘fess up and admit to having had a few dates with someone I met on-line dating. I know - unbelievable, right? It’s early days so I’ll just wait and see what happens but I can't help musing on things. 

What concerns me is that I’m so set in my ways that it’s hard to remember how to ‘be’ with someone. Eg If they make you a cup of tea and it’s not very good, do you say anything? If you don’t you then run the risk of forever getting cups of tea made to that original formula.

It has also brought up the staying-over issue. If I stay over, or he stays over, I don’t sleep. This is very disappointing, as you can imagine. I don’t sleep even if I go into my spare room. Perhaps this will change with time, although based on my experience of marriage it is unlikely to improve a lot. I’d be happy if it just improved to the point where if I at least go to another room I sleep. That’s what I’m aiming for at the moment.

It has made me realize how settled I am in my ways. I like doing things my way, I like my space, I like lots of time alone, and I like sleeping in my bed, alone. It is, perhaps, fortunate he is quite relaxed and accommodating. 

I know I should just relax because it’s not as if we’re about to move in together but my little head starts thinking about that kind of thing. There were lots of compromises that had to be made when I was married and I’ve got used to not having to make those now. I wonder if I would ever be able to go back to being gracious and compromising.

I still think the best marriage is one where you live next door to each other. For some inexplicable reason, however, people laugh hysterically when I mention this. I don’t think they would’ve had the nerve to laugh at Katharine Hepburn when she said it! 

Right, back to just enjoying dating and having sleep-overs. Breathe, Stella, just breathe. 


  1. I'm totally with you on the next-door thing although a duplex might work...

  2. Go with the flow! Enjoy it for what it's worth. Don't think I've had to compromise myself in my relationship - cos I'm married to a saint. He certainly has had to. He did hit me in the head during his sleep last night. That's his story...

    Hope it all works.

  3. Camia- not sure what a duplex might be but I think you're right.
    Fraudy- have calmed down and am just enjoying it. Phew.

  4. I'm with Camla! Great idea. Stella, a duplex is usually a two floor apartment, with each floor capable of being used as full living quarters. So kind of like two separate apartments, joined by a staircase.

    Fraudster - Lol at "his story!" :D

    As for me, I'd probably go for separate "somethings" too if a problem arose. Optional separate bedrooms or offices or something.

  5. Hey NQ- had forgotten I'd admitted to dating someone, so my latest update will be no surprise. Or maybe it will be a surprise that it lasted 2 months!
    Oh a duplex sounds like an outstanding idea. Now I just need the man who will go for that. Trouble is (other than finding the man) I don't think we have duplexes here. Never mind, I can always move countries. ;-)
    Stella x

  6. Just get two apartments and make your own door. Even side by side works :)

    But I like what I've seen of your house. Maybe you could just build them a place on your porch. That might keep the birds out of your plants!

    Re the recent update - Not surprised you're dating. Sorry it didn't work out. Know you'll date again :)

  7. Two apartments would be perfect. Now I just need the man ;-)