The more things change. . .

They say the only thing you can rely on is that things will change. Is that so? Well I wish it’d hurry up and do so. Here I am apparently still in the same position as I’ve been all year.

First, French. I’ve re-enrolled in another French course and guess what, I’m still crap at it. Merde! Will go back to doing it at university next year and keep my fingers cross I can make a success of it. The feedback I’ve had from friends still there, although most of them dropped out, was that the course wasn’t “all that.”

In the meantime I’ve been going to a short course with a girlfriend. Sometimes my brain hurts and I feel like bursting out into song à la the Wizard of Oz:

I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers

Consultin' with the rain.

And my head I'd be scratchin' while

my thoughts were busy hatchin'

If I only had a brain.

Yes, maybe I am overstating my case a bit but jeez it’s difficult. The first week I had no idea what anyone was saying, this week I have more of an idea but don’t always follow everything. Other people can produce an entire sentence en française with no hesitations while I bring new meaning to the words “glacial speed” when producing my sentences. Then I give up and babble it in English, which is not the point.

Of course speaking French once a week isn’t really the way to go. Never mind I will continue. My plans to go and live there for a while are on hold as now I want to move to the inner city first. . . then return to uni, then go and stay in France. I’ll get there.

Second, can you guess, on-line dating. Yes, I’ve finally got the MOS out of my hair and gone back to on-line dating. The MOS, well I just can’t bear to give you all the gory details. Suffice it to say we had hardly any dates when he was back, and hardly any contact. Despite this I kept hanging in there; at what point does hope turn into stupidity? Finally he actually said the relationship stuff was too much pressure and we’d be better off just as friends. (Hm, but I'm not looking for another friend.)

Anyway, so have re-written my on-line profile. It’s terribly witty now and I’ve got some nice pictures up there, but it’s not helping. Yet. Perhaps when I say “witty” I mean “sarcastic” but I prefer to think it’s “playful”. My complaint is still the same, most men in their 40’s have apparently given up on how they look. Me on the other hand, I look good. (Apart from the VPL issue.) There’s weights, Spin classes, Bikram and walking the dog, and avoidance of junk food. (Oh, and I'm still modest.)

However, I’m willing to hang in there and wait for change. Change in the man situation and improvement in the French situation. Wish me luck.

Stella x