Want Ads for Teachers Who Walk On Water and Other Miracles

Hyperbole in teaching positions appears to be all the rage. I am looking for a new teaching job and the standards seem very high. I consider myself a good teacher, not great, just good, but I’m not sure I’m at the standard required to actually get a teaching job these days.

If these ads are to be believed then the standard of teaching is so high these days I’m shocked we are not leading the world in education and turning out actual world leaders!

These examples are taken from real ads. (Just reading them made me so exhausted I had to have a Bex and a lie down.)

They want really good teachers who:        

• Demonstrate experience in developing exciting, innovative and age-appropriate curriculum to engage all levels of students.
• Have an ability to foster positive relationships with students, with a commitment to their personal growth, education and care.
• Demonstrate ability to work as part of Learning and Pastoral Teams.
• Have strong communication skills.
• Have a commitment to excellence in girls’ education.

 Hm, yes, we all have to be involved in teams now: Pastoral, Learning, Writing Curriculm/ Rewriting Curriculum/ Writing The Curriculum to Satisfy the New Improved Independent Schools Standards/ State Standards/New Improved National Standards . . .

Surely if we got it write right the first time we wrote the curriculum we wouldn’t have to keep re-writing it.

Or they want us to be energetic and innovative. Well, I row twice a week, is that energetic enough?

This is an opportunity for a talented Maths teacher to join a supportive and engaging work environment that fosters diversity, communication and professional growth.

Talented? Probably not. And fortunately I’m not a Maths teacher so I won’t be applying for that one.

ABC Teaching Agency is seeking dynamic, outgoing and enthusiastic secondary teachers to work with our client schools.

Er, dynamic? Outgoing? Enthusiastic? I’m afraid my enthusiasm gets worn down just reading the ads.

I enjoy teaching, like the kids, and want to do the best by them but I just don’t think I can live up to all these new expectations.

Anyway, you’ll be relieved to hear that I keep my new found cynicism to myself and should I actually get invited to interview for a teaching position (which hasn't happened yet, must work on my water walking skills) I will not be saying anything at all about my blog.

Stella x