Thursday, 22 December 2011

Bring on Christmas!

I've been rather busy lately catching up with friends instead of on-line dating. This has worked out well for me and this Christmas I don't feel half as sad as I did last Christmas. Yeah, I had reason last Christmas, it was my first without my husband and I did swear that I'd leave the country this year but I have realised there is no way to avoid Christmas.

Instead I've taken heed of my (occasional) counsellor's advice and gone out whether I felt like it or not. This has worked out well, I've made sure I have been busy and now am looking forward to Christmas happening as I'm too tired to do anything else. (I say "occasional" so you don't think I'm completely bonkers.)

As well as catching up with friends I have joined an on-line social group and been to a few of their functions; some of them have been interesting, one has even led to me take up rowing. Well "taking it up" may be an overstatement - I've had three lessons and plan to go back to it next year. One dinner with this group was rather strange with two of the men talking over each other trying to relate a story to the rest of us, I didn't know who to look at. Naturally one of the men was a guy who'd taken a shine to me when we did sailing one day. I made sure not to sit next to him and he couldn't monopolise me with his conversation. See? I do learn from my experiences. 

Then there was the individual with the non-gender specific name, e.g. Jo, and the very androgenous look. It was like an episode of Seinfeld, others at the table couldn't decide whether to use "him" or "her" either, although I did have the most interesting conversation with this person. A few days later she/he sent me an email with some advice on buying property and an invitation to have a coffee if I'm ever in the area.  (I bet you think I'm making this stuff up.) Based on that one strange dinner I have decided not to attend the New Year's Eve celebrations at a cocktail lounge in the city. I am going to a Christmas Eve dinner with them though- will let you know if it's as strange as the first.

Then I went to our streets Christmas get-together down in the National Park. I only know a couple of my neighbours but was introduced to the rest as "the new neighbour" - I have been in my house for 18 months; the party got rained out last year by a mega storm so didn't happen. No one hit on me, no one was rude to me, and they were all pleased I'd come along. Likewise the ex-students celebrating an 18th birthday party at a local venue were thrilled to see me and another teacher earlier this week. This is lovely as I last taught them six years ago when they were in Year 7.

In the interests of self-preservation I have stopped the on-line dating efforts, they weren't exactly successful anyway. Let's face it, I've been single for two years now. I'm not that thrilled about it but have survived. There are good things about being single even though I'd prefer to be in a relationship. Perhaps I should comfort myself with the thought that:
a/ I am not in a relationship with any of these thoughtless, tactless men. And
b/ I am not as broken and busted as any of these men. 

At least I don't think I am - although the circumstances of my life are sometimes quite strange.

So now all I have to do is figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I sort of feel obliged to go and work overseas, or at least travel. The only trouble with this is I don't want to go by myself. I have been looking on-line for places I can teach overseas but frankly they're not places I'm sure I would feel comfortable or safe. Perhaps I am just not adventurous enough?

For the time being I am happy being me. I take comfort in the thought that I have met so many undesirable types of late that surely 2012 will bring some lovely people into my life. It has to be better than 2011, doesn't it?


  1. I like this post. How does it have no comments? :P

    You neighborhood party and the bday party sound really nice.

    So, what was the verdict on "Jo?" - and did the monopolizing guy hit on you again? Maybe you should pick your nose a lot around him? Then again maybe not. He might take that as permission to do the same ;)

  2. NQ- thanks for the compliment. It does have a comment- yours! Maybe this post was a bit long- I did think so at the time but needed to "complete" it.

    I emailed "Jo" and told her it was nice to meet her and will catch her next time. I wanted to be friendly without giving the wrong message or being rude (there are enough rude people on the internet.)

    Christmas Eve dinner was lovely (geez I'm overusing that word!) as you will find out- possibly the highlight of my on-line socialising so far. My "mate" hasn't hassled me, I make sure I move on and keep chatting to others. I think he realizes I'm not interested.

    And my friend's bd party was a great way to spend the day. Our friendship has developed slowly over several years from when we first new each other at a yoga class.
    HOpe you're enjoying the festive season and thanks for Following, and supporting, me since I've been blogging and trying to sort through my tough times.
    xxx Stella