Tuesday, 13 December 2011

On-line dating: completely cured now

Well, the good news is that  I'm completely over on-line dating now: the MOS, the MOS' friend, this pig.

Get a load of what this guy who I thought was normal sent me . . . we were meant to meet up for a coffee near his place but he said he'd "fixed up his 4th floor" ready for his brother to stay and that we could sit outside on the balcony in the sun. . . which we did. He shares with someone anyway and his housemate was in the lounge playing video games. I hadn't realized that all he wanted was sex! Good grief! I am soooo naive!!!

I believe my "exaggerated mannerisms" refers to the fact that I talk with my hands. 

We had planned a 3rd date but I decided I didn't want to go there - luckily as it turned out. 

I don't care anymore, I think I'd prefer to be single, however feel free to go to RSVP and check him out.

Squibbler sent you an Email on  12 Dec '11
That second rendezvous at my place started to get boring after you just talked and talked about yourself. As I lay on the bed with you I kept thinking, 'for goodness sake let's just fuck, or at least get jiggy and pashy, because otherwise this is going nowhere.'
I'm sorry to do this to you, but ask yourself, who wants a skinny 40+ year old*  with tolerance issues, intimacy issues and exaggerated mannerisms? I mean, at your age you've lost your looks, you're socially and conversationally odd and you're unashamedly garrulous, yet you still cling to the idea that guys my age will want you for your beauty and your personality?  As we lay on my bed for hour after hour with you banging on about nothing as if you thought we were actually conversing I just kept thinking, 'for goodness sake let's just fuck, or at least get it on a bit, because otherwise this is a serious waste of time.'
Four hours of your shit with no action ..Jesus Stella, you need to get used to the idea of getting your knickers off, because anything else you think you have to offer is actually a concession the other party has to make.

*I deleted my age. (Funny, he didn't tell me I was vain on top of everything else. Maybe he couldn't fit that in the email?)


  1. OMG! That would just about finish me off. What a wanker!!

    You are certainly better off alone and from what I know of you from your writing, you deserve much, much better than this mega-tool could ever offer.

    So sorry you had to experience this.

  2. Fraudy- thanks. What it has taught me is that I have a lovely network of friends who were immediately outraged on my behalf and also reassured me that I am nothing like the accusations outlined by this man.
    Apparently he was offended when I agreed that we shouldn't have another date- he'd text me and queried if I found him attractive because I didn't go the big kiss when I left.
    It makes much more sense now that all his other relationships failed because of the other party- according to him they had serious personality flaws. . . A lucky escape I guess.

  3. Incredible. I wonder if you can post that letter on his profile somehow, to show what a head case he is. Or maybe you can do a brief review of ALL the losers and put it on your profile. Something like "So and so only wants sex and thinks 40+ women have nothing else to offer." "So and so #2 wants sex when he's in town, but ignores you when he's out of town which is more than half the year as his job requires he be gone for months at a time."

    Or maybe you could go the "I don't sleep with someone unless we've been seriously dating for over 2 months" route and see how many guys that eliminates. State it in your profile and stick to it. I doubt anyone who only wants sex would contact you or wait that long. (I realize YOU may not want to wait that long, but it might be good way to weed out the losers and see who really wants a long term relationship vs a booty call!)

    I want to say more but really what I'd prefer to do is throttle the guy. Since I can't do that, I guess I'll end my comment ;)

    BTW, I'm going out of town for a bit so I may fall behind in reading/posting, but I'll catch up as I can.

  4. OR, maybe you could write back to him and say:

    "I'm sorry to do this to you, but the reason I wasn't interested in having sex with you is because you weren't that good. I switched to conversation because I felt sorry for you and didn't want to tell you how awful you were to your face and walk out the door. So I thought maybe we could talk and connect intellectually and then it wouldn't be a complete waste of an evening for me. Except you had zero to contribute to the conversation.

    At your age, you need to get better in bed or learn how to engage women intellectually. If you can't manage either of those, no one is going to waste their time with you."

    Or something like that... >:o)

  5. NQ- well enjoy being out of town, and thanks for the heads up.
    To clarify- I didn't actually get anywhere near sleeping with him, didn't even kiss him. We were on his bed because the balcony was accessed from his room, then we came inside to chat. . . but it did feel awkward because there was only his bed to sit on. (Geez I am naive!)
    I have completely deleted my on-line profile; I want nothing further to do with these men. They are warping my view of men.
    I can't post those comments on my profile (if I still had one) as only the men would see it so it would be pointless, and unfortunately I can't on his, but I have made a complaint to the people who run it. I don't know if they'll do anything but a girlfriend told me I should definitely report him.
    As for replying to him I said:
    Wow, nice. Do you feel better now?
    At least it has cured me of any ambivalence I had about on-line dating. . .

  6. Ah ok. Even better. I have a whole OTHER fictitious letter you could send then! Including that the only reason you were on his bed was because he didn't give you anywhere else to sit, not because he had a chance in hell! ;)

    You deleted your profile completely? Wow. Have you considered a different online dating service? Just not that one?

    I guess it makes sense that if you still had a profile, only men would see it. Why would women (straight women) read your profile? But maybe you could have used the loser guys as examples of how to NOT impress you.

    Sorry people suck. At least this guy made it easy to kick him to the curb!

  7. I am speechless. SPEECHLESS. It is never OK to talk to someone that way.

    People can be so outrageously shitty, especially in the online dating realm ... which is why I quit a few months ago. We deserve better, my dear.

  8. Wow. WOW. I just...I don' I really cannot believe he actually said that! What a pompous, arrogant asshole. I hope you reported him to the site. That's just...I don't think I even have words for people like that. Horrid behavior, just HORRID.

  9. alonewithcats- well I would've thought it's never OK to talk to someone like that either, but there you go. I understand why you quit it too. And you're sooooo right- we both deserve so much better. Let's hope it soon, hey?

    Folly- yeah, I know. I reported him and they said if they get any other complaints about him they'll do something about it. At least I only wasted two dates on him.