. . . for me
The last few months have seen me have dates with men who have been appealing via email but haven't lived up to their promise in the flesh.
This maybe due to my extraordinarily high standards and ideals, eg I want to be attracted to the person I am dating. Despite the fact that I am still single it has been useful in that it has helped me refine what I am looking for in a man. (Other than, of course, Steve from Hawaii 5-0. Ha, you thought I'd gotten over that obsession, didn't you?)
Anyway, more realistically the MOS was a keen contender. Why else would I let that drag on for four months, averaging exactly one date per month, except that I found him quite attractive, and he was lovely and fit too. (That means he had nice muscles.) It wasn't his non-availability that appealed either, even though I know some women like to go for men they can't get. His being away for six weeks at a time was a huge stumbling block for me. However, the text messages several times a day were nice. (Is there a better word for it than that? I can't think of it.)
Then when he was in town he had this sort of veneer of sophistication. He knew the cool places to go, he was generally polite and well mannered, and he was interesting to talk too. Unfortunately, he also wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship; and if he did want one he wanted to go "slow." When he was back it went so slow that glaciers melted faster. I bided my time as much as I could to see if he would eventually want more contact, or even if the rate of text message contact would increase, but it never did.
So, someone who's a little more keen than the MOS.
Next there was the paramedic who works, not quite as far away as the MOS, but still 60km north of the city in a small country town. Anyway, we thought we might have a chance so after exchanging several long, and amusing, emails we met up. A nice person, genuine and down to earth but little in common and no "oomph" factor. I wasn't attracted.
Then last night I met Muso guy. Again, we exchanged several fun emails. We had a lot of email banter going on, probably more so than the previous two men. He emitted an aura of coolness. He had published a novel (right up there on the totem pool of coolness for me), played in bands, and lived inner city, which was closer than the previous two. Trouble is he does a bit of free-lance writing as his only income, and lives in someone else's house. Not what I'd call financially secure, and it turns out that is important to me. (I don't necessarily want to share my hard-won financial security with someone else. Actually, I don't want to jeopardise my hard-won financial security. I hadn't previously realised this was important to me.)
Along with this writing-type coolness he had the muso grunge going on. They never have been my "type" in so far as I even have a type, but I prefer a man who is a little better groomed. Nevertheless, I thought we had enough in common to meet. And we did have a bit in common. It was fun to talk writing and publishing and the possibility that his novel was going to be turned into a tele-movie. But again, no attraction.
So, I need a man with the MOS' sophistication who owns his own home, and is nice and fit. He will also live and work in Melbourne, not overseas, and be tall - all these men have been over 6 foot. He must have interests of his own and be financially secure. He could have the paramedic's down to earth and easy-going nature. He could be a little quirky like the Muso but will have washed his hair recently. He must actually want a relationship; with me and no one else. You know, an ability to commit himself to one person; something I suspect the MOS would have had trouble doing.